Catching Up and Cutting Loose

Parents everywhere -- not just those of special needs kids -- get caught up in the day-to-day affairs of their children, and it's very easy to lose sight and lose perspective of the world at large.  This is, of course, a significant contributing factor to the adversarial confrontations between childless couples and those who are parents, or stay-at-home mothers versus working mothers.

Perspective is lost, and both sides demand acknowledgement and attention.

Nonetheless, when we do get lost and caught up in the daily affairs of Henry and of Lori's pregnancy, we forget that the rest of the world is still merrily chugging along.  And in a way, we do miss it.  We look upon certain aspects of the past wistfully.

So when we receive the occasional buzz from friends who want to schedule time for us to enjoy adult company with advance notice, we're reminded that we do need the adult contact.  And it's greatly appreciated that they remember to fish us out of the proverbial lake of daily child care, because we certainly didn't.  And it didn't cross our minds to give them a buzz when we have some down-time.

And really, we do actually have down time.  All that talk of parents not being able to relax for the next 18-20 or more years is exaggeration.  After all, Henry's napping right now and what am I doing?  I'm writing a blog post!  I could be out running.  I could be playing the guitar.  I could be lifting some weights.  I could be drinking a beer.  I could be doing some more homework.

Down time exists, although perhaps not all at once or in a single large chunk.

But I digress.

Hanging out with other parents outside of the presence of our children has its benefits in that we are kindred spirits of sorts.  Even more so if the other parents have children close to the same age as ours, so we're all growing and learning as parents together, rather than being made to feel like we're behind the curve when conversing with parents of older children who've already grown past these stages and their contributions to the conversation are nothing more than jaded warnings, rather than celebration the wonders and discovery.

(as an aside, why do parents who have older children feel the need to do this?  It's vaguely insulting at best and outright rude at worst, as if what we're experiencing now as parents of a toddler is meaningless or insignificant compared to the haaaaarrrd worrrrk and trraaaagedeeeee of raising a teenager, or that we have NOOOOO idea....  Just because it's been several years past already doesn't give these parents the right to take away the joys and wonders that we're experiencing for the first time, and would like the chance to relish, as they already did.  It's condescending, and almost seems like a selfish need to turn the attention back onto themselves)

But it's also refreshing to spend time with other adults in a purely adult setting.  No talk of kids, schools, or pediatrics.  F-bombs are dropped with impunity.  Topics of running off for a weekender on a whim are rehashed.

This is also why I enjoy the company of teachers during the summer or even after the school day when the kids have gone home.  It's refreshing to be able to see my colleagues as regular, hard working adults.  Few things are as heart-warming as seeing the young, bubbly, blonde third grade teacher drop her shoulders, lose the plastic smile, and start swearing like a truck driver.

We all need some kind of balance and outlet.  It's very easy to forget when caught up in the day to day grind, whether kids are involved or not.